She Lives! An Update Several Years in the Making…

How do I even start this post? It’s been nearly three years since I last updated, and so much has happened in the intervening time. A large part of the reason I stopped posting regularly is that I got a full-time job with Yen Press in September of 2020 (I started in October that year) as a Sales & Marketing Assistant. I accepted the position the same day I signed papers to buy a house. These two things, coupled with having an infant to care for, really sucked time and energy out of my days, and my writing went by the wayside.

And now…well, my firstborn is a toddler, and I just had a second baby! I’m on a for-real maternity leave right now (last time I was a freelancer, so I didn’t have that privilege), though coming to a close in a couple weeks. I’m starting to feel the pressure of returning to “normal” with a new little life in tow….

So to start, I guess a life update. I’m still at Yen, now as the Sales & Marketing Coordinator. Working in manga was a dream of mine for a long time, and something I had kind of tried to MacGuyver together for myself between working at Comicopia for so long and then transitioning to review writing. I thought I wanted to be more involved in the editorial side of things, and while I do still think that’s something I would enjoy, I’m finding myself really loving what my job has become. Essentially, I put together a lot of sales reports and crunch a lot of data…and on occasion, I also get to chat with librarians. That last part is an especially nice bonus, because I do love me a library!

I’m still podcasting with Manga Machinations, as well. For a long time, I really wondered if I could balance the full time work, the full time mothering, and doing the podcast (especially since I had to drop the regular blogging), but I have found that podcasting has been really essential for me. It’s a place where I can really get in touch with myself as more than “just” a mom (though I talk about my kids constantly – drawback of the vocation, haha), and I get to socialize with friends. I’m really proud of a lot of the stuff we’ve done, though it is my co-hosts who really put in the hard work. I appreciate them for indulging me just showing up and chatting every week!

I have been reading regularly, both for the podcast and for pleasure. Though I have to admit that much of the pleasure reading has pivoted toward murder mystery novels and away from comics. But fear not, I do still try to keep up with manga, especially whatever Yen is publishing. And luckily, I’ve noticed more murder mystery manga coming out in recent months….

Some of my reading time has also been eaten up by another new hobby: Crochet. I started in March of 2022 on a whim, and I found that I really enjoy it. I had tried taking up crochet in the past (and other fiber arts, as well), but for some reason it didn’t stick until now. I think something about motherhood has turned me into a murder mystery-loving, crocheting, gardening little granny before my time! Let’s ignore the fact that these are literally always things I’ve enjoyed or aspired toward….

Truth be told, I’m not 100% sure what I want to do with this blog right now. I do miss writing; the most exciting writing I do on a regular basis is emails with analysis on the state of the comics market. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing that…but it’s hardly feeding my need to write completely. 

With the recent introduction of the Threads social media platform and ensuing discussions about old school social media, there is a part of me that would like to allow this blog to be somewhat more personal. I’ve certainly never shied away from inserting myself into my work here, but I suspect that might become more of a thing. Since the days of MySpace, I’ve almost always kept a blog. That pivoted to sharing myself on Facebook, and then Instagram, and then Twitter…but those platforms are so short-form, I have to cut myself down into digestible parts whenever I post in a place like that. And frankly, Twitter just isn’t an option for me anymore. Even before it was bought out and started to go downhill, it was wrecking me mentally every time I looked at my feed. I’ve slowly started on Bluesky as well, but let’s be real…that’s pretty much the same thing as Twitter, though currently more palatable.

I don’t want to sound so down on social media; I do still enjoy Instagram especially, and I appreciate having a platform to share parts of myself with family and friends. But I’m ready to stop trying to sell myself in so many little ways, and to start engaging with more intention. I have always believed in being honest about myself, even in an environment as unpredictable as the Internet. I’m just going to go back to my roots a bit here.

So this may be the last update again for a while, but I do really want to come back to writing, given time. I’d like to do more manga reviews, but I’m also opening myself up to writing more personal pieces. I am still the Manga Maven. I’m just also Morgana, and I’m ready to share more of that with readers, too. So even if you just stick around for the comics talk, I appreciate you tagging along!

The Manga Maven Becomes the Manga Mama

It’s been over a week since my husband and I announced that we’re expecting a baby, and the response from family and friends has been overwhelmingly wonderful. We’re excited, and we’re glad everyone else seems to be, too! I’ll be honest, half the reason I read so little over the last couple months was because the first trimester totally knocked me out. I was exhausted all the time, and prioritized doing my paid work and then resting as much as possible. But now I’m a little over 16 weeks into the pregnancy, well into the second trimester, and I’m feeling much, much better. I’m starting to get back to organizing my time better and hopefully writing more for pleasure as well as for work.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about a lot as I’ve prepared to get pregnant and become a mother is the state of pregnancy narratives in comics. Basically, there’s not a ton that I can find. You’ll have noticed that my last few monthly picks included titles like Lucy Knisley’s Kid Gloves and Ingrid Chabbert’s Waves (which is a hell of a thing to read when you’re pregnant and still concerned about miscarriage — so much crying). This has partially been an attempt on my part to seek out works by people who have been pregnant or written about pregnancy, in order to see different perspectives and find solace in the words of other expectant parents.
When I look for manga dealing with pregnancy, I discover that there’s not much that comes up for the English-reading audience other than Harlequin romance adaptations — which are fine in their own right, but are not going to give me the perspective I’m hoping for. Nana deals with pregnancy a bit, and Tokyo Tarareba Girls reflects on it as well. But these are both in the context of a larger story. It’s harder to find either a non-fiction confessional or a fictional story that really delves into the ins and outs of preparing for and having a baby.
So I have a favor to ask of anyone who reads this: Tell me about a comic or manga that deals with pregnancy or parenthood, something other than what I’ve mentioned already. I’d like to take a closer look at the portrayals — good, bad, and otherwise — of this time in a person’s life. I want to explore why we do or do not talk about pregnancy, even though we live in a society that is so focused on bringing children into the world, no matter the cost. And if I find enough material, you’ll be sure that I’ll be writing about my thoughts and findings on the matter.
In the meantime, I’ll try not to overtake my writing here with baby talk — though I definitely have some ideas about posts catered toward parents who are interested in introducing manga to their kids. Continue to expect monthly favorites updates from me, alongside my regular newsletter and other intermittent posts — until late January or February, when the Monster will likely choose to make its debut. ;3
Monster
 
 

My Mother's Love is My Comics Origin Story

I get asked a lot, especially as a guest on podcasts or in interviews, about how my interest in comics started. And I tell the truth: My father collected comics, and when he heard about a new show called Sailor Moon, he thought I’d like it and he helped me tape it off of TV, later giving me the first volume of the manga and thus starting my own collection. That is, however, a hugely simplified version of the story, and it causes people to heap praise on my father that he maybe doesn’t completely deserve. My father is not a bad man, but he did leave when my sister and I were both still very young. So while he sparked the interest in anime and manga that would follow me into adulthood and into my professional life, he was one cog in a very large animanga machine that was making its way to North America regardless of his efforts.
The person I don’t get a chance to talk about much is my mother, because she doesn’t personally have an interest in comics. But if anyone has encouraged my interests and bolstered my abilities, it is her. My mother was happy to buy me whatever books I wanted growing up, never demanding to know why or what for. When I began to experiment with drawing, she was the first person to give me sketchbooks and markers, gladly and graciously. She never involved herself in my hobbies, but she always knew what I was into and who my favorite characters were. She was always ready to help me put together an amateur cosplay, always ready to add her sewing and crafting advice to the pages of online tutorials I had printed out to aid in my endeavors.
And perhaps most importantly, my mother never tried to pull me away from a hobby that her ex-husband had partaken in, sometimes to the detriment of our household. She didn’t see my interest as an extension of him — or if she did, she never mentioned it at all. She saw me as myself, a creative person with hobbies that helped feed that creativity. And that is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, just the chance to pursue the things that make me happy for the sake of it.
So yeah, when I talk to my dad now, we can chat about how great The Sandman is, or I can tell him that no, really, he should check out Junji Ito. But the fact remains that he wasn’t there when I was frantically putting another coat of paint on my cardboard cosplay bass guitar; he doesn’t know the names of all the friends I’ve made through comics. He did something great in helping me find a series that has remained important to me throughout my whole life, and I have always been very appreciative of that.When I worked at Comicopia, I used to see dads trying to get their daughters into their hobby to varying degrees of success, and it made me smile to know that they want to share that aspect of themselves with their children.
But even more than that, I would always love to see the moms who would sheepishly admit that they don’t know anything about comics, but they’re still out there helping their kid figure out which volume of Fairy Tail they left off at. They’re asking their kid if their friend borrowed that one book, or if they returned that other one to the library yet. They’re doing the oft-unthanked work of motherhood: keeping track of responsibilities and friends, helping their child grow in their interests, and caring enough to provide advice and feedback.
It’s not glamorous, really, being a mother. It’s a lot of toil, a lot of worrying, a lot of second-guessing your choices — especially if you’re a single mother, like mine was for a long time. But even with the anime zeitgeist and the manga boom of my adolescence, I’m not sure I’d be doing what I’m doing today without the constant support of my mother. To this day, she remains always ready to support me without trying to control my choices, offering what advice she can and helping me through my uncertainty.
And maybe that’s part of the reason that now I crave comics about women like my mother. I crave comics where women are working through all the typically-unseen work of partnership, or motherhood, or even just the pressure of society to excel at their jobs when the odds are stacked against them. Because there were so many odds stacked against my mother, trying to find her way, single with two little girls and no college degree. And despite that, she raised my sister and me into two very different women on our own paths who will always know that no matter what, we have our mother’s care to lift us when we need it.
So let the record show that at the core of my interest in comics — and my interest in history, and my love of tea, my desire to write, and just about everything else in my life — is my mother frantically working to make sure I can pursue whatever weirdness tickles my fancy. I am so incredibly grateful for her constant, steady, powerful love.
mommyandme

My Mother's Love is My Comics Origin Story

I get asked a lot, especially as a guest on podcasts or in interviews, about how my interest in comics started. And I tell the truth: My father collected comics, and when he heard about a new show called Sailor Moon, he thought I’d like it and he helped me tape it off of TV, later giving me the first volume of the manga and thus starting my own collection. That is, however, a hugely simplified version of the story, and it causes people to heap praise on my father that he maybe doesn’t completely deserve. My father is not a bad man, but he did leave when my sister and I were both still very young. So while he sparked the interest in anime and manga that would follow me into adulthood and into my professional life, he was one cog in a very large animanga machine that was making its way to North America regardless of his efforts.
The person I don’t get a chance to talk about much is my mother, because she doesn’t personally have an interest in comics. But if anyone has encouraged my interests and bolstered my abilities, it is her. My mother was happy to buy me whatever books I wanted growing up, never demanding to know why or what for. When I began to experiment with drawing, she was the first person to give me sketchbooks and markers, gladly and graciously. She never involved herself in my hobbies, but she always knew what I was into and who my favorite characters were. She was always ready to help me put together an amateur cosplay, always ready to add her sewing and crafting advice to the pages of online tutorials I had printed out to aid in my endeavors.
And perhaps most importantly, my mother never tried to pull me away from a hobby that her ex-husband had partaken in, sometimes to the detriment of our household. She didn’t see my interest as an extension of him — or if she did, she never mentioned it at all. She saw me as myself, a creative person with hobbies that helped feed that creativity. And that is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, just the chance to pursue the things that make me happy for the sake of it.
So yeah, when I talk to my dad now, we can chat about how great The Sandman is, or I can tell him that no, really, he should check out Junji Ito. But the fact remains that he wasn’t there when I was frantically putting another coat of paint on my cardboard cosplay bass guitar; he doesn’t know the names of all the friends I’ve made through comics. He did something great in helping me find a series that has remained important to me throughout my whole life, and I have always been very appreciative of that.When I worked at Comicopia, I used to see dads trying to get their daughters into their hobby to varying degrees of success, and it made me smile to know that they want to share that aspect of themselves with their children.
But even more than that, I would always love to see the moms who would sheepishly admit that they don’t know anything about comics, but they’re still out there helping their kid figure out which volume of Fairy Tail they left off at. They’re asking their kid if their friend borrowed that one book, or if they returned that other one to the library yet. They’re doing the oft-unthanked work of motherhood: keeping track of responsibilities and friends, helping their child grow in their interests, and caring enough to provide advice and feedback.
It’s not glamorous, really, being a mother. It’s a lot of toil, a lot of worrying, a lot of second-guessing your choices — especially if you’re a single mother, like mine was for a long time. But even with the anime zeitgeist and the manga boom of my adolescence, I’m not sure I’d be doing what I’m doing today without the constant support of my mother. To this day, she remains always ready to support me without trying to control my choices, offering what advice she can and helping me through my uncertainty.
And maybe that’s part of the reason that now I crave comics about women like my mother. I crave comics where women are working through all the typically-unseen work of partnership, or motherhood, or even just the pressure of society to excel at their jobs when the odds are stacked against them. Because there were so many odds stacked against my mother, trying to find her way, single with two little girls and no college degree. And despite that, she raised my sister and me into two very different women on our own paths who will always know that no matter what, we have our mother’s care to lift us when we need it.
So let the record show that at the core of my interest in comics — and my interest in history, and my love of tea, my desire to write, and just about everything else in my life — is my mother frantically working to make sure I can pursue whatever weirdness tickles my fancy. I am so incredibly grateful for her constant, steady, powerful love.
mommyandme

The First Week

My last day at Comicopia was a week ago now. I wrote a bit about it and posted it to Twitter, but now that some time has passed I guess I have some more thoughts.
Not getting up to go to work every day has been a weird adjustment. I do still wake up naturally around the same time, give or take half an hour. I may decide to continue setting an alarm for myself, just to provide a sense of structure to my day. And structuring my day has been the hardest part of this transition. I left my job without a new full-time job lined up, but I’m not “unemployed.” I have paid work that I need to get done, but not having much outside structure other than a deadline means that I need to figure out what a “work day” looks like for me now.
I’m trying not to get too angsty about the fact that I don’t have it all figured out yet. I trust that as I take on more paid writing work, I will get better about streamlining the process of getting things done in a timely manner. A day goes by far more quickly than you think when you’re not looking at the clock! Maybe that’s why a more traditional work day seems so long sometimes.
Other than writing, I’ve been doing some much-needed decluttering of my home, specifically of my work space. My desk is an old drafting table that my husband found waiting to be thrown away, and it has no drawers of its own. As such, I have two sets of plastic drawers and a bookcase around the desk that all needed to be thoroughly searched and cleared of excess nonsense — you know, anything that doesn’t “spark joy.” ;3
I did do a good chunk of writing in the library this week, which I’ve always enjoyed doing. Our branch of the BPL here is a super tiny Art Deco building whose furnishings and floors are probably all part of a 1950s or 60s remodel. It’s quiet and warm, and about a ten minute walk from my apartment, so a very ideal place to get some work done. Besides, if I’m around other people I feel more of an impetus to actually work since I don’t want anyone to catch me slacking off!
I stopped in to Comicopia on Wednesday, actually, to pick up February’s Previews catalog. It didn’t feel weird to be there, though it did feel odd to just kind of pop in and pop out again after I was done, lest I run out of time on my parking meter. It still doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything more than taking a vacation, so I wonder if the realization that I’ll never be the manager again will even sink in!
All in all, it’s been a good week, though I do regret that in my flailing attempts to arrange my schedule, I haven’t had a ton of time to do any reading that wasn’t pertinent to something I was working on. There is a different work/life balancing act that goes on when what you do for pleasure is so very linked with what you do for money. I’m curious to see how I’ll navigate that going forward. I’m learning a lot about myself and how I work, what it takes to motivate me. I think that’s a very valuable lesson, regardless of whether this writing full-time thing pans out or not.
I want to quickly thank everyone who has given me well-wishes as I start this new phase of my career, such as it is. I know a lot of people are a bit sad that I’m no longer in the shop, but as I’ve said time and time again, I have absolutely no intentions of leaving the world of comics. As I get older, I’m able to more clearly see where  my priorities are heading, and retail was no longer able to provide me the space to pursue a lot of things, including writing. It’s really, really nice to know that I will be missed, though! Y’all know how to make a lady feel special, for sure.
Anyway, I promise to start writing about manga and stuff that y’all actually care about soon. I just wanted to give a little bit of a life update since my last post so you can all see that I haven’t abandoned this space. I’m going to learn how to incorporate it into my routine somehow, and I’ve already started planning some work that I hope you will all look forward to! <3

The First Week

My last day at Comicopia was a week ago now. I wrote a bit about it and posted it to Twitter, but now that some time has passed I guess I have some more thoughts.
Not getting up to go to work every day has been a weird adjustment. I do still wake up naturally around the same time, give or take half an hour. I may decide to continue setting an alarm for myself, just to provide a sense of structure to my day. And structuring my day has been the hardest part of this transition. I left my job without a new full-time job lined up, but I’m not “unemployed.” I have paid work that I need to get done, but not having much outside structure other than a deadline means that I need to figure out what a “work day” looks like for me now.
I’m trying not to get too angsty about the fact that I don’t have it all figured out yet. I trust that as I take on more paid writing work, I will get better about streamlining the process of getting things done in a timely manner. A day goes by far more quickly than you think when you’re not looking at the clock! Maybe that’s why a more traditional work day seems so long sometimes.
Other than writing, I’ve been doing some much-needed decluttering of my home, specifically of my work space. My desk is an old drafting table that my husband found waiting to be thrown away, and it has no drawers of its own. As such, I have two sets of plastic drawers and a bookcase around the desk that all needed to be thoroughly searched and cleared of excess nonsense — you know, anything that doesn’t “spark joy.” ;3
I did do a good chunk of writing in the library this week, which I’ve always enjoyed doing. Our branch of the BPL here is a super tiny Art Deco building whose furnishings and floors are probably all part of a 1950s or 60s remodel. It’s quiet and warm, and about a ten minute walk from my apartment, so a very ideal place to get some work done. Besides, if I’m around other people I feel more of an impetus to actually work since I don’t want anyone to catch me slacking off!
I stopped in to Comicopia on Wednesday, actually, to pick up February’s Previews catalog. It didn’t feel weird to be there, though it did feel odd to just kind of pop in and pop out again after I was done, lest I run out of time on my parking meter. It still doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything more than taking a vacation, so I wonder if the realization that I’ll never be the manager again will even sink in!
All in all, it’s been a good week, though I do regret that in my flailing attempts to arrange my schedule, I haven’t had a ton of time to do any reading that wasn’t pertinent to something I was working on. There is a different work/life balancing act that goes on when what you do for pleasure is so very linked with what you do for money. I’m curious to see how I’ll navigate that going forward. I’m learning a lot about myself and how I work, what it takes to motivate me. I think that’s a very valuable lesson, regardless of whether this writing full-time thing pans out or not.
I want to quickly thank everyone who has given me well-wishes as I start this new phase of my career, such as it is. I know a lot of people are a bit sad that I’m no longer in the shop, but as I’ve said time and time again, I have absolutely no intentions of leaving the world of comics. As I get older, I’m able to more clearly see where  my priorities are heading, and retail was no longer able to provide me the space to pursue a lot of things, including writing. It’s really, really nice to know that I will be missed, though! Y’all know how to make a lady feel special, for sure.
Anyway, I promise to start writing about manga and stuff that y’all actually care about soon. I just wanted to give a little bit of a life update since my last post so you can all see that I haven’t abandoned this space. I’m going to learn how to incorporate it into my routine somehow, and I’ve already started planning some work that I hope you will all look forward to! <3

The Maven in 2019

Happy New Year, everyone!  A little belated, but I had some things to tie up before I was able to share this post.  I want to talk about what’s ahead for me and this little website in the coming year. But first, a little retrospective.
I started mangamaven.com in April of 2018, just after Anime Boston and my 28th birthday.  It’s not even a year old yet, but I am proud of all the work I’ve been able to put into it.  Through this site, I’ve been able to reach a larger audience than just my small social media groups.  I’ve been asked to be on a couple podcasts: Manga Machinations and Manga Mavericks. (And I had a great time of it, too; podcasting is fun!)  I’ve been able to promote my newsletter, which I also launched in 2018. It was quite the year!
A lot of things have changed and developed in my personal life, as well, and because of this I’ve had to make the very hard decision to leave Comicopia.  It’s been a really transformative three and a half years, and I will still be involved with the store, shopping there, organizing and working conventions, et cetera.  I will also still be maintaining my monthly newsletter, so no need to fret about that. I don’t have any plans to leave the comics world, I’m just going to be stepping out of retail for a while as new and exciting things start to fall into place!
And what are some of these new and exciting things?  Firstly, a lot more writing! I’d like to really focus on building my writing portfolio, and I want to keep talking about manga.  With the manga publishing industry looking more healthy and diverse than ever, and as Viz Media’s new Shonen Jump subscription service begins to grow and evolve, I foresee that I will have plenty of opportunities to do just that.  And I promise to keep everyone updated on other new and exciting developments as they arise.
It’s looking like 2019 is going to be a year of a lot of big changes for me, but I really think it will be a positive growing experience.  Thank you all for reading and coming along on this adventure with me — may we all find joy and new opportunities aplenty in 2019!
posiroji
 

Some Brief Thoughts On Writing

Hello, everyone! SO sorry that I haven’t written for a while. I was away visiting family last weekend, and then I became very busy with both my day job and the review work that I do on the side. As such, I haven’t had much time to read any manga! My husband and I have made our way through most of the Wotakoi anime, though, and it’s so good…definitely going to be disappointed when we finish.
I had a great time on the Manga Machinations podcast a couple weeks back. If you haven’t had a chance to check that out, I’d urge you again to find the episode at mangamachinations.tumblr.com. I’ve been on panels at conventions several times in the past, so doing a podcast was a bit similar…but it was definitely novel to be the center of attention!
Despite not updating here, I have been doing a great deal of writing, both personal and professional, and thinking a lot about how much I enjoy it. I’ve always liked writing, and my parents and teachers and peers always made a point of telling me I was good at it. But for a long time, I fretted over whether or not I was good enough. These days, I worry less about that and more about getting thoughts down onto paper (or computer screen), and I do feel that I’m able to convey what I mean to say more often than not.
I mentioned that I do paid review work; it’s uncredited, so I don’t have the ability to claim it as my own. But this kind of very structured writing, while I initially thought of it as a chore, has actually been very good for me. It allows me to separate out writing as a tool and writing as an art. I like being creative and writing creative reviews here, but it’s also important to be able to practice brevity and clarity that my personal writing might eschew for more whimsy or flair.
Basically, I love writing and I’d like to do more of it. My life being what it is right now, I don’t know how likely that is; but if I could find more paid writing work (which also gives me a byline…), I would find a way to make it work.
I’m happier when I’m writing. It took me a long time to remember that fact — that I used to write not to be good at it, but because I enjoyed it. In any practice, it’s hard to remember that we often start with joy, and then get bogged down by the need to excel. (I draw, as well, and this is a major problem for me in that arena.) There is no one person who is the best at anything. It’s hard to not compare yourself to others, but its important to only mark your progress against yourself. Doing otherwise will only result in angst…and it prevented me from writing for many years.
Anyway, soon my schedule should go more or less back to normal and I’ll be able to talk about manga again, instead of waxing poetic about my feelings. 😛
Happy Monday, and I hope you all have a great week ahead of you!

Some Brief Thoughts On Writing

Hello, everyone! SO sorry that I haven’t written for a while. I was away visiting family last weekend, and then I became very busy with both my day job and the review work that I do on the side. As such, I haven’t had much time to read any manga! My husband and I have made our way through most of the Wotakoi anime, though, and it’s so good…definitely going to be disappointed when we finish.
I had a great time on the Manga Machinations podcast a couple weeks back. If you haven’t had a chance to check that out, I’d urge you again to find the episode at mangamachinations.tumblr.com. I’ve been on panels at conventions several times in the past, so doing a podcast was a bit similar…but it was definitely novel to be the center of attention!
Despite not updating here, I have been doing a great deal of writing, both personal and professional, and thinking a lot about how much I enjoy it. I’ve always liked writing, and my parents and teachers and peers always made a point of telling me I was good at it. But for a long time, I fretted over whether or not I was good enough. These days, I worry less about that and more about getting thoughts down onto paper (or computer screen), and I do feel that I’m able to convey what I mean to say more often than not.
I mentioned that I do paid review work; it’s uncredited, so I don’t have the ability to claim it as my own. But this kind of very structured writing, while I initially thought of it as a chore, has actually been very good for me. It allows me to separate out writing as a tool and writing as an art. I like being creative and writing creative reviews here, but it’s also important to be able to practice brevity and clarity that my personal writing might eschew for more whimsy or flair.
Basically, I love writing and I’d like to do more of it. My life being what it is right now, I don’t know how likely that is; but if I could find more paid writing work (which also gives me a byline…), I would find a way to make it work.
I’m happier when I’m writing. It took me a long time to remember that fact — that I used to write not to be good at it, but because I enjoyed it. In any practice, it’s hard to remember that we often start with joy, and then get bogged down by the need to excel. (I draw, as well, and this is a major problem for me in that arena.) There is no one person who is the best at anything. It’s hard to not compare yourself to others, but its important to only mark your progress against yourself. Doing otherwise will only result in angst…and it prevented me from writing for many years.
Anyway, soon my schedule should go more or less back to normal and I’ll be able to talk about manga again, instead of waxing poetic about my feelings. 😛
Happy Monday, and I hope you all have a great week ahead of you!

Remembering Akira

I don’t remember if it was spring or fall, but I remember that I was nine years old. Sara and I got off the bus as usual. She was staying over my house that afternoon, and she had brought a tape she had borrowed from her older brother, which she had seen at least some of already. She wanted me to see it, needed her best friend to have the same experience.
Up until that point, we had a passing understanding of anime. We watched Pokemon, and I had been a fan of Sailor Moon for years already. But as we sat there on the floor in the basement of my grandmother’s house, the coarse brown carpet biting into our hands as we leaned in, we knew that what we were watching was the same and yet…it was different.
We were probably too young to watch Akira. I think we knew that, too, because we kept worrying that every sound we heard was my grandmother about to descend the stairs as something truly horrific happened on screen. I didn’t have a concept of body horror, didn’t understand the affects of drug use, didn’t have any background in Japanese post-war anxieties or political climes. But even though it frightened and confused me, I loved Akira.
Time will elapse, and I will carry with me the knowledge that it’s a movie I love, but forget the particulars. And when I go to watch it again, I will be floored all over again. The swell of the gamelan soundtrack, the warmth of the animation, the gorgeous taillight trail…it makes me emotional for reasons I can’t always comprehend, though I suppose I am, at my core, a very emotional person, given to sentimentality.
And so the Akira film celebrates its very sentimental 30th anniversary. From all corners of the internet, all manner of film and animation fans are calling up their memories, lauding their favorite aspects of a film that could only be made in that time, in that place, and with those very specific people. For me, it’s the same: I can’t imagine having not seen Akira, and I don’t regret having seen it early in my life. Quite the contrary, I feel lucky to be able to experience it over and over again, as I age and mature, and as I come to learn new things about myself and about society.
…and I still have yet to finish the manga, so I guess I have a goal before the year is out!